I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13
Aurora S. Cudal joins Filipino-American youth in the "March for Immigrants" to demand comprehensive and just immigration laws.
The following pieces are from her column entitled "My Personal Testimony," published weekly in the U.S.-based newspaper The Filipino Press.
More pieces are listed on the left-hand sidebar.
Chula Vista, Calif. – We are living life to the fullest, thanks to friends who have welcomed my husband and me into “The Group.” This is a fun group and what we do is eat (great gourmet foods), sing (thanks to magic mike), talk (healthy conversations about entrepreneurship, culture, education, Gawad Kalinga, community service) play Boogle (a word formation game) and then go into a singing contest with a difference. A good singer is paired with one who can’t carry a tune and the results makes the winners feel that they are the best singers in the group.
Last weekend “The Group” had their monthly gathering to celebrate the birthday celebrants for the month of March. As the four honorees with an age range of 50 to 83 lined up to blow the candles on the two birthday cakes, healthy laughter ensued. All of them grew a year younger!
Birthdays are significant to all of us not only because they remind us of the day we were born but more so they make us think of how much or how long God has been a part of our lives – blessing, providing, loving and taking care of us – through our family and friends.
A birthday marks a unit of time; some use it to reflect on the past, but we in “The Group” use it to build friendships and to plan what we can do to make our community, and the Philippines for that matter, a much better place. Most, if not all members of the group, have achieved what they want in life. They have reached the peak of Maslow’s cone of experience, the level of self-actualization.
As a group we are celebrating birthdays to affirm that it is great to be alive. We are happy that God has blessed us in many special ways with our talents, with our possessions, and with our relationships. We rejoice in each other's presence, appreciate each other's talents, and recognize each other's contribution for the good of others. This is a positive and happy group, a by-product of life usefully lived.
Praise God for good company – people who do not walk in the counsel of the wicked but whose delight is in the law of the Lord. They are like trees planted by streams of water which yield fruit in season and whose leaves do not wither. They count their days with fun and laughter, fully aware of God’s goodness in their lives. To be in such a company makes us grow younger as we age.
The Bible says, Love
God with all our heart, with all your mind and with all your soul, and love your
neighbor as you love yourself. But what is love? 1Corinthians 13 describes
what love is. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love makes no record of wrongs. Actually these describe “agape love,” God’s love.
There is another kind of love, common to humans:
romantic love. And that’s what Valentine’s Day is all about.
Wife: Do you love me, honey? Husband: Of course, do I
have to say it?
This
is a common conversation starter between husband and wife or between a woman
and her significant other. Sometimes the conversation would end nasty,
especially when the man says, “You seem to feel insecure, why do you have to
ask that question all the time. Can’t you see that my world revolves around
you?” The woman starts to become defensive. She pouts and would say, “I just
want to be reassured that you really love me.” End of conversation.
February 14 is a red letter day for lovers. It is that
time of year when women expect to hear some endearing words of love and
caring. They expect to receive a long stemmed rose or three roses to symbolize
the three words “I love you.” They expect to be invited out to dinner and to hear
their beloved say some words of endearment to make them feel that they are
valued and appreciated. That is a woman for you – sentimental, romantic and
emotional. To them, love is that simple. Just say it.
However, most men are not sentimental or romantic.
They are rational beings. They do not openly express how they feel. They leave
women guessing if they are truly loved. A book entitled Men are from Mars and
Women are from Venus aptly describes that they come from different planets. If
women do not know this about men, they will be frustrated.
I learned my lesson fifty-five years ago. My boyfriend, who eventually became my husband, was always around when I needed him. He served me hand and foot but I never heard him say “I love you” until I asked him, “Do
you love me?” His response made me feel stupid. Did I not know it all along?
Why would he spend all this time with me if he did not care about me, if he
did not value our relationship, if he did not have feelings about me?
Some men are embarrassed to say those simple words, “I
love you.” To them the expression is trite and hackneyed. Love to them is an “action” word.
They dismiss Valentine’s Day as a con event perpetuated by businesses in
order to earn money from the sale of flowers, chocolates, teddy bears and other
gifts decorated with red hearts and boldly printed “I LOVE YOU.”
However, I am basically romantic, sentimental and
emotional. I pout if my man does
not kiss me when I wake up or before I sleep. Saying, “I love you” has become
a personal ritual which makes me feel that life is really beautiful. Loving and
caring words are my antidote for stress.
Actually women are very easy to please. Just
say “I love you” to them and their hearts start wildly beating, delighted that
the man they love have said those three simple words and meant it – “I love
you” and so they respond, “I love
you, too.”
Nonetheless, we go back to God’s love as the most
exquisite kind of love between husband and wife, between a man and a woman. The
words “I love you” should be girded by kindness, thoughtfulness, courtesy,
respect, patience, tolerance and understanding. Say I love you and translate this
into action. This makes love a
many splendored thing.
Happy Valentine’s to you!
My heart is still brimming with joy and thanksgiving as I write this column. My husband and I just arrived from the Father and Mother’s Day Celebration (July 7, 2007) organized by the Filipino American Cultural Group of North County where we received an unexpected accolade as Father and Mother of the Year 2007. What made the day so special for us was the presence of four out of our seven children, two of whom were with their spouses and children. We thought that not one of them could attend since we were told that they are all busy. We took their excuses in stride although with great disappointment. When we arrived at the Canyon View Elementary School where the event was held, we were informed that some of our children and grandchildren were already there. What a pleasant surprise!
Mary O. Garrido, President of the FilAm Cultural Group (FACG) of North County and Carole dela Paz, Chair of the Father and Mother’s Day celebration devoted so much time in planning and organizing the event. We are indeed thankful for their patience and persistence in making the arrangements with my children.
It was a heartwarming affair complete with promenades, flower ladies, award of plaques, sashes, trophy, bouquet of flowers, and citations followed by entertainment for the honorees. Mel and Tita Gamboa, long time friends and fellow Lions, presented the boutonnière and bouquet. Rita Buencamino Andrews, COPAO President and Jana Kelley, President of the San Diego Scripps Lions Club pinned the sashes “Mother of the Year” and “Father of the Year” respectively. Mary O. Garrido and Vicky Cabarles, FACG Secretary, presented the Plaque of Recognition. Jun Mataban, vice president of FACG sang our favorite song, “No Other Love,” and the FACG Dance Group presented “Al Camphor”, with Cion Dumlao as dance directress. Our son Arwin and our daughter Sharon Rose represented their brothers and sisters in thanking the organizers for the honor bestowed on their parents. Sharon Rose said, “We thank you for reminding us of what the Bible says, 'Honor your father and your mother (that you may have a long, good life in the land the Lord your God will give you,)' We have been so busy raising our own families that we can not bestow the honor the way you have done it here. Thank you very much!" Arwin did likewise but he added a twist by donating a token amount for the projects of FACG.
Indeed, we would like to thank the Filipino American Cultural Group of San Diego North County, Inc. for the distinct honor it has bestowed on us as a couple. For the past years, we have been honored separately in our professional as well as community involvement. This is the first time that we were honored as parents with our children giving us a trophy with this inscription: “For without your love and devotion in raising us we would not be what we are.”
Oh, what a feeling to be honored as parents. As Mary O. Garrido pointed out, raising seven children is not easy. There were many challenges on the way, but we succeeded in rearing them. She went on to mention the names of our children, their respective careers, their spouses and their grandchildren - Mary Ann and Horace Wilson de Ocera; Aurora “Gia” and Jonathan Soriano; Winlove II, Arwin and Teresalynn Cudal, BenHur and Lilibeth Celera Cudal, Charles and Rhoda Tayag, Sharon Rose and Gerald Pangilinan. It was music to our ears.
We would like to recognize the past Fathers and Mothers as we join their ranks with honor and pride: (1999) Javier and Magda Radam; (2000) Tim and Lisa Buitre; (2001) Johnny and Eugenia de Guzman; (2003) Casiano and Naty Santos; (2004) Jun and Naty Buenafe; (2005) Deo and Aurora Montoya: and (2006) Gerry and Carol de la Paz.
CHULA VISTA, Calif. – To be
able to memorize and recite a 15-verse poem at the age of 90 is a rare feat, and
Primitiva M. Manalo did just that during her 90th birthday celebration at the Bonita Golf
Course Clubhouse on November 25, 2006. “Ibang,” as she is fondly called by friends, was a picture of healthy
and graceful aging as she welcomed her guests. According to her daughter,
Priscila Gil, she knew about the party, but she didn’t know who among her
friends were invited to attend. Hence, you could see the sparkle in her eyes as friends and her former students from
far (Washington, D.C.) and near (Los Angeles) came to surprise her.
When the family photo
montage was presented on the screen, one couldn't help but admire the beautiful
woman that she was during the springtime of her life. Her physical beauty may
have been wrinkled by age, but she is still all aglow. You can see it in her sweet
smile as she acknowledges the presence of friends and loved ones and as she mentions
the names of her three daughters – Priscilla Gil, Cynthia Lacsamana and
Proserfina Demonteverde for generously sharing their talents and resources to
make her 90th birthday a happy and memorable event.
I’ve known Ibang for the
past thirty years. We were together in many events as members of the National
Executive Council of the YWCA of the Philippines in the late 70’s. Ibang was
the life of our group. Her keen sense of humor expressed by her clean jokes and
impersonations kept us from getting bored during national and local
conferences. (In fact, until now she can still lip-sing “Sa Kabukiran” and pretend to be Sylvia La Torre, much
to the delight of her audience).
I was much younger, yet
I felt so comfortable with Ibang. She was a friendly bridge-builder among people.
Perhaps, this was the reason for her designation as chaperone of the PNC Barangay
Dance Troupe when they went on a cultural dance tour to Japan. She dressed with
simplicity and yet looked elegant. She spoke with a soft voice but she could orate
with eloquence before a crowd, as she did during her birthday celebration. She acted with humility and yet you knew that in everything she did, there was always a mark of excellence.
I volunteered to give a tribute to Ibang during her birthday. I have associated with her frequent
enough to discern that she is a woman
of excellence, an intelligent woman with grace and spiritual depth, and a
highly accomplished woman. She loves life and lives it to the fullest. She has
discovered and shared with others the strengths and talents that are uniquely
her own.
Many of her acquaintances
here in San Diego do not know that Ibang was the Department Head of Home Economics of the Philippine Normal
College for several years. She was a government scholar and was sent to the
United States to pursue advanced studies in home economics. She was the first Filipino woman to become a member of the Delta Kappa Gamma, a
professional honorary society of women educators, which promotes professional
and personal growth of its members and excellence in education. She was involved in women’s development
and empowerment at a time when the status of Filipino women was just beginning
to be a social issue in the Philippines. She was the
organizer of the Quezon City YWCA, a grassroots organization which provides
early childhood education and social services to children and mothers from the
slum areas.
We frequently had our
meetings in Ibang’s well-appointed home. We gave her a warm send-off party when
she decided to come to the United States after her retirement. Many of her
friends, including myself, greatly missed her.
However, when I came to San
Diego in 1993, I was able to renew my ties with Ibang. I found her attending Ikebana
classes at Balboa Park and other community events organized by the United
Filipino American Senior Citizens of San Diego, Inc.
Ibang went to church
regularly with her own church group and she travelled and visited with friends in
other States. It is only now that she has slowed down. She now walks with a
cane and goes out only when accompanied by one of her daughters or grand daughters.
At the venerable age of 90, Ibang currently spends some of
her week days at the Horizon Adult Day Health Care Center and now finds herself
in a safer environment in an independent living facility for seniors.
The United Filipino American
Senior Citizens of San Diego, Inc. honored Ibang with a plaque “for being an exemplary senior citizen
and a role model for graceful aging.”
For the past weeks, I seem to have
been preoccupied condoling with friends and relatives over the death of loved
ones – a nephew, a friend, and then a sister-in-law. Did someone say that sorrow
comes in threes?
Most recently, my husband’s youngest sister, Dr. Nellie Cudal-Defensor, passed away after a lingering illness in her home in Las Vegas,
Nevada. Our last conversation with her over the phone two days before she died
ended with endearing words of love and concern. My husband said, “I love you,
Nellie. Please be strong and stay with us a little bit longer.” And her
response was “I love you, Brother Win, take care of your self.”
Nellie was the youngest of 16
children of the big Cudal clan from Malaybalay, Bukidnon, Philippines. She was
the first member of the family to come to the United States under the Exchange
Visitors Program. As a medical doctor she was able to obtain her licensure to
practice medicine with specialty in Anesthesiology in the State of Illinois. She
was married to a civil engineer, Steve Defensor from Iloilo City; they are
blessed with twin daughters, Marla and Missy.
After Nellie retired from active medical practice she organized a medical group and established the first one-day surgery center in Chicago. Apparently, the center prospered and was a very lucrative source of revenue for the organizers.
Nellie and Steve attained the
American dream, but they didn’t flaunt it. Instead, they silently supported Christian ministries and made use of
their financial resources to help others. Nellie gave much. She shared her
resources with the whole family and to some chosen nephews and nieces who had
the potential to excel in their chosen careers. She petitioned for them and
sent them to college. She invested her hard-earned money on nephews and nieces
who could present to her a viable business plan. Outside of this intra-family
altruism, she and her husband endowed a sizable amount of money to support
advanced theological education of qualified pastors from the Philippines who
are selected to study at the Dallas Theological Seminary in Texas.
One of the beneficiaries of Nellie’s altruism is Dr. Idrenne Alparaque Lim who is currently vacationing with us here in San Diego. Idrenne wanted me to share her tribute to our beloved Nellie whom she fondly calls “Auntie Lila:”
One of the joys of being a Christian
is the gift of salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ with the absolute guarantee
of eternal life. So that the passing away of a loved one who knows the
Lord, indeed holds the hope that she is not simply dimmed of life, but in fact
passes onto a glorious immortal life with the Lord Jesus Christ in heaven.
Spiritually. Literally as well.
Recently a dear loved one passed away
to be with her Lord and although I grieve for her passing, I stay assured that
she is now in a better place with her Heavenly Father .
I dedicate this tribute to celebrate
the life of Dr. Nellie Cudal-Defensor. There are moments in life that are inexpressible and ineffable. This is such an instance. Words will fall
short of the very essence I would wish to express. Yet today, I invite you to
pause with me for a moment and celebrate the loving life God gave my Auntie
Lila, Dr. Nellie Cudal-Defensor.
Etymologically the word “celebrate” suggests synonyms in differing derivations as in Greek kleiein, “to tell of,” “to proclaim.”
In Lithuanian, grirui attached to the word ‘grace’ means “to praise,” and from the Latin root celebrare, assemble to honor.
Here’s in “celebrare,” to proclaim, to praise and to honor Auntie Lila’s life:
I Saw a Woman Today
I saw a woman today respond to the call of the
healing profession.
I saw a woman obedient to the command
of her craft,
like an artisan deftly skillful in
the tools of her trade
in her hands, meticulous, administering
preparing patients coping with
pain,
sobering soothing stressed bodies
with sweet sleep, temporal.
I saw a medical doctor today
navigating shifting sides of
professional practice
emotion and intellect
clinical, competent, at once caring
discerning , disciplined.
Restoring, hands healing.
I saw a physician today.
I saw a woman today
Respond to the call of charity,
LOVE that is.
Rescuing, reaching out , sharing
her gifts
Mentoring, nurturing,
guiding , giving counsel
Investing
in a long line of nieces &
nephews
Turning their lives around so that
they in turn
now answer the call serving the Lord
in nursing, nutrition, academia,
engineering,
visual , media, performing and other
fine arts,
banking & finance accounting,
biology, enterpreneurship, theology, evangelism, ministry and missions.
I saw a woman today
passing on love
in bundles of blessings
as in discipleship: to bless others
who may bless others to
bless others, to bless others, to
bless others…..
in infinite filial bond of blessings.
I saw a woman today
I saw Auntie Lila today!
- Written by Idrenne Lim- Alparaque, PhD
CHULA VISTA, Calif. – I first met Patty Wilkins almost a year ago. She was walking ahead of me during the “Station of the Cross” procession organized by the San Diego Ecumenical Council on Good Friday to spotlight the social justice issues prevalent in our community. I was walking slowly from one station to the other until I finally caught up with her. She greeted me with a winsome smile as she introduced herself, “Hi, I am Patty Wilkins, a volunteer of the Church of Scientology”. I introduced myself and handed her my business card. After a brief conversation we went our separate ways and bid each other “Goodbye, I hope we’ll meet again.”
True enough, we met again. She came to the office to pick up a copy of the Filipino Press. Patty is very much involved in youth programs designed to prevent alcohol and drug use. She works with youth groups on various issues affecting their lives, but the most significant program she brings to young people is the study of the UN Declaration of Human Rights.
Our relationship progressed to the point that I could be open in expressing my thoughts and feelings. At the last Martin Luther King, Jr. anniversary breakfast at the Golden Hall, Patty invited me to join their table where I met David Meyer, President of the San Diego Church of Scientology, a very amiable person.
One afternoon while Patty and I were talking over the phone, I mentioned that I was not feeling well. She offered to come and give me an “assist.” I really don’t know what an “assist” is all about. Besides, I didn’t want to impose on her time. Nonetheless, she came to see me and explained what an “assist” is all about.
She gave me a Scientology Handbook entitled Assists for Illness and Injuries based on the works of L. Ron Hubbard. I must admit that I don’t know anything about Scientology. From the handbook, I read that Scientology was founded and developed by L. Ron Hubbard. Scientology is “an applied religious philosophy which offers an exact route through which anyone can regain the truth and simplicity of his spiritual self.”
Patty gave me an “assist” and I became more curious on how “assist” can help me. I found out that “assist” is not engaging in healing. An “assist” is not a substitute for medical treatment and does not attempt to cure injuries requiring medical aid, but is complementary to it. It is a very simple procedure but the principle behind it is too complicated for me to explain at the moment. There are many types of “assist” and I’m glad that Patty opened my eyes to other possibilities of healing one’s self.
At this time of my life, I am open to learning other religious philosophies. It is very fulfilling to know that there are many ways of thinking and doing and it is through building relationships that we grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
“Blessed are those who mourn
for they will be comforted.”
The
death of a loved one brings memories of a distant past which we often take for
granted. In the busy-ness of our
lives we don’t take time to talk with friends and acquaintances. We delay the
opportunity, hoping that there is a next time. But most often, the next time never
comes.
My husband and I have been living at the
Congregational Tower for the past thirteen years, but sad to say we don’t
really know much about our neighbors. We only have a "hello, how are you, have a fine day" kind of
conversation, thus missing the richness of a truly good interaction. We don’t have
time to establish
relationships with others or take time to listen to their stories. Then, when
they are gone, we are filled with sadness and regret for not having taken the time to
know them better.
One neighbor in our list is a petite, friendly and unassuming woman whom we fondly call “Chari.” One day I met Chari in the elevator and she said, “I don’t see much of you. You seem to be very busy.”
I smiled with a certain amount of guilt
for truly, I come in and out of the Congregational Tower. I don’t have time to
socialize with my neighbors. I told myself that I was going to take time to talk with
Chari one of these days. But I
never got around to doing what I wanted to do. Chari passed away last Sunday noon (July 1). I was shocked
and I felt guilty all the more.
I
joined Chari’s children in the “novena” with some neighbors, after which we
browsed over some of her albums. What a revelation! I saw a young Chari in a
beautiful evening gown with Paraluman, Gloria Romero, Amalia Fuentes and all those beautiful
actresses during her time.
In
the biographical sketch that her children shared with me, I found out that Rosario
Cabrera Araullo was one of four surviving children of the late Judge Guillermo
Cabrera and Anselma Arquiza of Manila, Philippines. A very diligent student,
she graduated as high school salutatorian from St. Paul College in Manila and
went on to the University of Sto. Tomas where she obtained her Bachelor of Arts
degree, major in Journalism, with the highest honors (summa cum laude).
Chari
got married to Gervasio (Chito) A. Araullo on December 19, 1942, with whom she
had five children, Maitina
married to Richard Falcon of Burlingame, CA; Antonio married to Mary Araullo, Martita married to Dan
Sadol, Rene married to Evelyn
Araullo and Miguel married to Aileen Araullo. She was blessed with 14
grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. Chito and Chari celebrated their 50th
wedding anniversary in Manila in 1992. Chito passed away in 1994.
Chari
at one time was elected President of the defunct Filipino American
Congregational Tower Residents’ Association (FACTRA).
I discovered
in the write-up that Chari was a very accomplished woman. She was Public
Relations Officer of Sampaguita Pictures, Inc. and Vera Perez Enterprises in
the Philippines for 35 years. She also worked as Public Relations Consultant of
the Folk Arts Theatre and the Cultural Center of the Philippines. She was the
first recipient of the Dr. Jose R. Perez Memorial Award in the field of Public
Relations, an award she considered as the most prestigious and therefore her
favorite award. Remember, those
were the days when Sampaguita Pictures was turning out all those box office
hits with beautiful actresses such as Paraluman, Gloria Romero, Amalia Fuentes,
Daisy Romualdez and many others.
When
Chari and Chito migrated to the United States in 1985, Chari continued working
but chose to be in the public service field. She worked with San Diego’s
Project Ayuda and San Diego Job Corps.
Can
you imagine the many interesting experiences Chari could have shared with me if
I took time to visit her? I would have been the richer in our interaction. I
could have learned so much from her, especially in the field of public
relations and journalism. It is indeed with deep regret that I didn't have the
chance to know Chari better than I do now. It took her death to make me admire
the great and talented woman that she was. As Public Relations Officer of
Sampaguita Pictures during her heyday, she really did great things to advance
the motion picture industry in the Philippines.
Chari
is gone. It is our loss not to have heard her stories, the challenges she faced
as a pioneer in the field of public relations, and the lessons she could have
imparted to us. Next time, talk with your neighbor, listen to her story. There
might be a gold mine of significant experiences and lessons that we could learn
from him or her. There might be
another Chari whose story is waiting to be shared.
CHULA VISTA, Calif. – Christmas carols have a way of tugging at my heart. Every time I hear Bing Crosby’s voice as he croons “I’ll be home for Christmas,” my heart tightens and tears begin to fill my eyes. I often wonder why I have such a feeling during the Christmas season. Perhaps, it’s because Christmas holds so many fond memories for me, especially in our own home in the Philippines when my children were growing up. Or perhaps it is because I would like to relive those days when as a child I was showered so much love and attention by my parents together with my brothers and sisters. As children we gathered around a long table of 12 for our “noche buena.” We had a brief family devotion, we sang Christmas carols, and then we ate to our hearts' content before opening our gifts.
Looking back, for me
Christmas is coming home to our loved ones. Christmas is being with family in
church together, worshipping the “new born King” and singing with the rest of
the congregation, “Hark the herald angels sing”. Christmas is not only the
giving and receiving of gifts but acknowledging the presence of our Lord
Jesus in our hearts.
I really feel nostalgic
every time Christmas comes around. I miss my son and his family who are still
in the Philippines. I miss the company of my children who are so involved in
their respective careers. I also miss my loyal, thoughtful and kind friends in
the Philippines who have showered me with so much attention and affection
during my career-filled days. Is it because we often hear of the phrase, “Love
came down at Christmas” and so we yearn for the company of our loved ones? Is
it because we are filled with the imagery of the three Kings bringing gifts to
the baby in a manger wrapped in swaddling clothes, hence we also want to give
special gifts to people whom we care about?
To stop me from yearning for
the good old days, I create new experiences, make new friends, and help others.
For instance, I am currently looking for a job for a couple who just arrived
from the Philippines; I am preparing usable clothes to send to the Philippines
to help the victims of the recent typhoon that swept the Bicol region. I am
thinking of what I can do for others instead of how I can respond to my own needs
and problems.
I haven’t gone shopping for
I know I could not buy the real Christmas gift I would like to give to my children and my grandchildren, which
are the gift of time, attention and caring. Love is in the
heart and love is not love if it is not given away especially on Christmas.
As in past Christmases, I
look forward to the Christmas activities in my local church. This year our
Christmas Season opened with a Christmas Tea where my great grandson together
with four other boys whose ages ranged from 7 to 11, sang Christmas carols, then
came the Christmas Cantata beautifully presented by the Chancel Choir.
I’ll also be attending the First
Filipino Evangelical Methodist Church and enjoying their Christmas Cantata. I
attended several Christmas parties to be with friends I hold dearly here in San
Diego. They are my anchor when waves of criticisms come my way. On Saturday,
December 23, I will be at the Nacu residence in Rancho Penasquitos to enjoy the annual Christmas Post Card
Festival and on December 24, I’ll be home with my loved ones, my extended
family, and a few friends for our traditional family Christmas gathering. We
will be singing Christmas carols, we will have a family devotional prayer, and
most important of all, we will be with our children and grandchildren and feel
the love that came down at Christmas.
Christ is the only reason for the Season. Merry Christmas to all!
For the past days, a friend has been nurturing deep emotional pain. Apparently she was told so many negative perceptions about herself, which she believes are not true. She felt it was most unfair for a friend to share past perceptions about her. The conversation seemed to be trivial, but my friend was hurt and she wanted to end her relationship with the person whom she had learned to love. He asked for forgiveness, but the hurt cut deep into her being. While she pretended that everything was all right, actually the pain was there and it gnawed into her being. The following day she was not able to resume her regular activities.
There are many women who just can’t move past their pain. It keeps coming back like a broken record and they suffer for it. They miss on life and on healthy relationships.
Dr. Charlene M. Proctor wrote a book, “The Women’s Book of Empowerment,” which offer ways to overcome the past. She says, ”Never allow the past to hold you back from enjoying a full life. What have you got to lose, except a heavy burden? Forgiveness is usually the key to moving forward, which is why it’s on the path to gaining insight. When you forgive yourself, and those who have hurt you, you are able to release negative patterns that visit you over and over again. More important, you will finally sever the control that a memory of another person has over you. Stay in the present, affirm the good that has been a result of a bad situation, and love your authentic self even more than you did yesterday. You can do it!”
Say to yourself in order to change your attitude, “Today I change my focus by championing a new cause. I am the ambassador of positive thinking. I spread health, wealth, love, and happiness wherever I go. I love watching how my positive statements dissolve negativity in others. I am my own instrument of renewal of positive energy, and my positive outlook is stored deep within me. Every positive statement I make is rewarded.”
There are those who may find it difficult to release the past. Try to tell yourself, “Today I take all my unhappy memories out of my body and place them in a basket. My pain, my anger, and my resentments are placed in this basket. I have an angel that takes this basket of unhappiness from my hands and flies to the outer reaches of the universe and transforms it into loving energy that will revisit me later today. I forgive those around me and ask for divine assistance to hold me in a state of continual forgiveness.”
Some women find trouble forgiving what another has done to cause the hurt. Perhaps, she should psyche herself and say, “I forgive because I am capable of expressing compassion. By forgiving, I release this situation from my energy field and feel clear-headed and full-hearted. I forgive because I am able to rise to my higher self and feel lighter. My light knows no boundaries when I forgive. Life feels lighter when I forgive.”
Let’s move past our pain and forgive the way the Bible says – “seventy times seven.” Life is beautiful.
Why does it sadden and pain us if someone hurls allegations that we know deep in our hearts to be untrue? Do these false accusations diminish our self-worth and impair our ability to respond to God's call? Do these unfounded imputations separate us from the love of God and make us unworthy to be called his children?
Thomas Merton said that "anxiety is the mark of spiritual insecurity." Human that we are, we are too prone to accept what is easy and conforming. We want everyone to love us and speak well of us. But the Christian pilgrimage on earth demands more than this. Living the Christian faith goes beyond the ordinary and aspires for union with God that is spiritual and supernatural. Clearly, martyrdom loses its special redemptive value if it is simply an ordinary and quite expected act.
The beatitude "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you (Matthew 5:10-12)" should provide guidance and inspiration to your apostolate.
Be steadfast in your
faith. Be resolute in your actions. Be caring in your stewardship. Be mindful
of the fact that, in the end, it will be you and you alone who will be
accountable to God when you come face-to-face with him.
While words evoke emotions, their power is only fleeting. In time, words and the feelings they elicit will fade, and become consigned to oblivion. It is deeds and actions that create and sustain. We still cherish the philosophies of the past because we see their applications at present. The Gospel of Love and Salvation still rings so loudly because of the selfless, compassionate and largely unrecognized acts of kindness that we see everyday.
Christ enjoins us to love one another, more so our enemies. Even though our love may be rebuffed and misconstrued, we must love unceasingly and without reservation or condition. Christ died for all of us – righteous and sinners alike. Pray to the Holy Spirit that he may enlighten those that transgress us, hoping that in God's own time we will all joyously come to the banquet table with open hearts and with hands clasped in brotherhood.
© 2007 Aurora Soriano Cudal