“People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.” Proverbs 19:11 (NLT)
Hello! I’m back. I promised Ernie Flores long before he passed away that I would resume writing my column after my stint as President of COPAO. Thank you, Susan, for giving me back the invaluable space that my column occupied for almost ten years!
When I was awarded a Doctorate in Humanities, honoris causa, in 2003 by the Board of Regents of the Pamantasan ng Lunsod ng Maynila (University of the City of Manila), the first city government-supported institution of higher learning and originally established to provide quality education to “poor but deserving students,” I pledged during the conferment ceremony that I will hold the title with pride and dignity. Hence, as I resume my column, I will use my title. Those who will read this column with raised eyebrows or would call me a “quack”, just bear with me. Not everyone is awarded an honorary doctorate degree. And not everyone could do what I did for the University as I organized the Center for University Extension Service and the PLM Concern Foundation. I also initiated innovative programs for the “poorest of the poor” in the City of Manila, bringing in more than a million pesos in the process. Nobody can take away my achievements or tear me apart for imagined wrongs that I have done as President of the Council of Philippine American Organizations of San Diego County, Inc. (2003-2004).
A friend forwarded the following e-mail, which expresses my own thoughts and feelings. Allow me to share it with you. It is entitled “Angry, Hurtful Words”.
“I read the e-mail and the words hurt. They were an all out attack on me personally and on my family. I also have definitive proof that the accusations were completely unfounded.
“My initial reaction was anger and hurt. I wanted to respond in an angry, defensive manner, and destroy the person making the accusations, and let them know I had the proof that they were lying.
“I wanted to turn my battleship alongside of them and fire a salvo of rounds broadside. I wanted to rejoice in sinking them. I wanted vindication, justice, and revenge. I wanted to hurt them as much as they had hurt me.
“The problem was, I knew as a Christian that that is not how we are called to respond. Scriptures about forgiving one another and turning the other cheek flooded my brain.
“However, my human side, my flesh, did not want to forgive. I wanted to lash out, to repay. I wrote an articulate, scathing reply in which every word was carefully designed to do maximum damage. Then I deleted it. I was still angry and hurt, but responding in kind wasn’t the answer.
“I prayed that God would help me forgive because I wasn’t able and didn’t want to. I was still furious. I went for a long walk and vented it all to Him. My desire for vengeance, my lack of desire for forgiveness, my hurt, all of it. Then a Scripture came to mind. 'Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Do not repay evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.'
“Reluctantly, I began to pray for the party involved. It was hard, but the more time I spent talking with God on their behalf, interceding for them, the more my heart softened towards them. My anger slowly dissipated and I started to recognize more of the hurt they were in. My anger slowly disappeared. It was replaced by compassion.
“The next time someone lashes out at you, take your anger and hurt before God. Intercede with God on their behalf. You will find out that it will make a difference in how you feel.”