The Bible says, Love
God with all our heart, with all your mind and with all your soul, and love your
neighbor as you love yourself. But what is love? 1Corinthians 13 describes
what love is. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love makes no record of wrongs. Actually these describe “agape love,” God’s love.
There is another kind of love, common to humans:
romantic love. And that’s what Valentine’s Day is all about.
Wife: Do you love me, honey? Husband: Of course, do I
have to say it?
This
is a common conversation starter between husband and wife or between a woman
and her significant other. Sometimes the conversation would end nasty,
especially when the man says, “You seem to feel insecure, why do you have to
ask that question all the time. Can’t you see that my world revolves around
you?” The woman starts to become defensive. She pouts and would say, “I just
want to be reassured that you really love me.” End of conversation.
February 14 is a red letter day for lovers. It is that
time of year when women expect to hear some endearing words of love and
caring. They expect to receive a long stemmed rose or three roses to symbolize
the three words “I love you.” They expect to be invited out to dinner and to hear
their beloved say some words of endearment to make them feel that they are
valued and appreciated. That is a woman for you – sentimental, romantic and
emotional. To them, love is that simple. Just say it.
However, most men are not sentimental or romantic.
They are rational beings. They do not openly express how they feel. They leave
women guessing if they are truly loved. A book entitled Men are from Mars and
Women are from Venus aptly describes that they come from different planets. If
women do not know this about men, they will be frustrated.
I learned my lesson fifty-five years ago. My boyfriend, who eventually became my husband, was always around when I needed him. He served me hand and foot but I never heard him say “I love you” until I asked him, “Do
you love me?” His response made me feel stupid. Did I not know it all along?
Why would he spend all this time with me if he did not care about me, if he
did not value our relationship, if he did not have feelings about me?
Some men are embarrassed to say those simple words, “I
love you.” To them the expression is trite and hackneyed. Love to them is an “action” word.
They dismiss Valentine’s Day as a con event perpetuated by businesses in
order to earn money from the sale of flowers, chocolates, teddy bears and other
gifts decorated with red hearts and boldly printed “I LOVE YOU.”
However, I am basically romantic, sentimental and
emotional. I pout if my man does
not kiss me when I wake up or before I sleep. Saying, “I love you” has become
a personal ritual which makes me feel that life is really beautiful. Loving and
caring words are my antidote for stress.
Actually women are very easy to please. Just
say “I love you” to them and their hearts start wildly beating, delighted that
the man they love have said those three simple words and meant it – “I love
you” and so they respond, “I love
you, too.”
Nonetheless, we go back to God’s love as the most
exquisite kind of love between husband and wife, between a man and a woman. The
words “I love you” should be girded by kindness, thoughtfulness, courtesy,
respect, patience, tolerance and understanding. Say I love you and translate this
into action. This makes love a
many splendored thing.
Happy Valentine’s to you!