"I'll Be Home for Christmas"

CHULA VISTA, Calif. – Christmas carols have a way of tugging at my heart. Every time I hear Bing Crosby’s  voice as he croons “I’ll be home for Christmas,” my heart tightens and tears begin to fill my eyes. I often wonder why I have such a feeling during the Christmas season. Perhaps, it’s because Christmas holds so many fond memories for me, especially in our own home in the Philippines when my children were growing up. Or perhaps it is because I would like to relive those days when as a child I was showered so much love and attention by my parents together with my brothers and sisters. As children we gathered around a long table of 12  for our “noche buena.” We had a brief family devotion, we sang Christmas carols, and then we ate to our hearts' content before opening our gifts.  

Looking back, for me Christmas is coming home to our loved ones. Christmas is being with family in church together, worshipping the “new born King” and singing with the rest of the congregation, “Hark the herald angels sing”. Christmas is not only the giving and receiving of gifts but acknowledging the presence of our Lord Jesus in our hearts.

I really feel nostalgic every time Christmas comes around. I miss my son and his family who are still in the Philippines. I miss the company of my children who are so involved in their respective careers. I also miss my loyal, thoughtful and kind friends in the Philippines who have showered me with so much attention and affection during my career-filled days. Is it because we often hear of the phrase, “Love came down at Christmas” and so we yearn for the company of our loved ones? Is it because we are filled with the imagery of the three Kings bringing gifts to the baby in a manger wrapped in swaddling clothes, hence we also want to give special gifts to people whom we care about?

To stop me from yearning for the good old days, I create new experiences, make new friends, and help others. For instance, I am currently looking for a job for a couple who just arrived from the Philippines; I am preparing usable clothes to send to the Philippines to help the victims of the recent typhoon that swept the Bicol region. I am thinking of what I can do for others instead of how I can respond to my own needs and problems.

I haven’t gone shopping for I know I could not buy the real Christmas gift I would like to give to  my children and my grandchildren, which are the gift of  time,  attention and caring. Love is in the heart and love is not love if it is not given away especially on Christmas.

As in past Christmases, I look forward to the Christmas activities in my local church. This year our Christmas Season opened with a Christmas Tea where my great grandson together with four other boys whose ages ranged from 7 to 11, sang Christmas carols, then came the Christmas Cantata beautifully presented by the Chancel Choir. I’ll  also be attending the First Filipino Evangelical Methodist Church and enjoying their Christmas Cantata. I attended several Christmas parties to be with friends I hold dearly here in San Diego. They are my anchor when waves of criticisms come my way. On Saturday, December 23, I will be at the Nacu residence in Rancho Penasquitos  to enjoy the annual Christmas Post Card Festival and on December 24, I’ll be home with my loved ones, my extended family, and a few friends for our traditional family Christmas gathering. We will be singing Christmas carols, we will have a family devotional prayer, and most important of all, we will be with our children and grandchildren and feel the love that came down at Christmas.  

Christ is the only reason for the Season. Merry Christmas to all!

© 2007 Aurora Soriano Cudal